Watch The Doughnut

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-21T21:21:00.000-08:00

So... it's Christmas time.

This month we:

decorated early and efficiently, thanks to clearly labeled bins and organized contents
bought our tree from Costco... a first. We have loved cutting our own trees in years past, but wow!... you can't beat the price, and the tree is still lovely and fresh!
let the boys climb all over the roof putting lights up.
did a big family shopping trip so all the kids could choose gifts for each other (that they paid for themselves).
had a truckload of amazon.com boxes dumped on our doorstep.
got sick. I had at least one child home sick for 9 consecutive school days. As I write tonight, Ben came home from a friend's house shaking uncontrollably and threw up... so, I guess we're not done.
enjoyed our ward Christmas breakfast.
gratefully gathered with some old (and new) friends and felt so thankful for the roots we have here in Morgan Hill.
ate yummy treats brought by friends... but we haven't baked for the first time in, well, forever!
made a couple of good Pandora Christmas stations.
read some new Christmas books.
loved reading Christmas cards and letters... but didn't send any of our own (although we love all our friends and family, far and wide).

This year, more than ever before, I have been so keenly aware of the commercialization of Christmas. Not that I wasn't aware of it before, but for some reason, it is rubbing me the wrong way like it never has in the past. I love the lights, I actually love going shopping (if it's not too crowded), I love the parties and the treat giving and the the hustle and bustle... in small doses.

I guess the difference is that this year the general oblivion to the real meaning of Christmas is so glaring to me. There is no sense of the sacred nature of the holiday in the sales and long lines. It is so easy to get caught up in all the festivities that even those of us who are really celebrating Christmas, and not just the "happy holidays", can lose sight of what we are celebrating.

Over the last two years or so, the inclination to draw my family closer and simply focus on what matters most has been so strong. I don't know if I am feeling that prompting for a specific reason, but I have followed it, and I suppose that this is now carrying over to Christmas. I just want to cozy up with those souls who are so dear to me and read and talk and just be together. I want my children to feel the love of the Savior in their lives, especially at this time of year.

Life is beautiful. It is. And the amazing thing is that it can be beautiful in the middle of the chaos and sickness and uncertainty and imperfection which follows us everywhere. It is because of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

So Merry Christmas... and HAPPY Christmas, and thank goodness for Christmas and all that it means to us.

"Lift Up Thine Eyes" by Norman Rockwell

Thanks

2011-11-27T22:09:00.000-08:00

1st Grade Celebration. Cheers!

Our turkey was the BEST. Sorry. It just was. Yours was not the best. Ours was. My brother Mike and Benjamin built a smoker in the garden out of bricks, a tomato trellis, a cardboard box, and foil. Then they smoked that turkey to perfection.

The Lowes brought the cutest kids from Texas to eat with us.

And play in the tree with us...

And just generally hang around looking adorable with us...

Fall color in Grandpa's yard

Grandpa holding court

The only decent dinner pic I got... and it's blurry, but you can clearly see that the kids' table was a good place to sit, despite being covered with a picnic blanket from my own childhood.

The best part of Thanksgiving Dinner... the end.

The Power Game

2011-11-11T21:53:00.000-08:00

Dear Seth,

You have a game that you like to play (which has, in fact, been played by all your siblings and some lucky imaginative friends) called the Power Game. The most important part of this game is the set up (as any creative child, or Lowe girl knows), which involves carefully selecting powers. These powers are debated, squabbled over, traded around, modified, and then written down.

Exhibit One

Seth, you have played with many different powers. Earth, water, ice, invisibility...

Let me tell you about another power that you have. You have this power in great abundance and it is a great force for good in your arsenal of abilities.

It is the power of a compassionate heart.

This quiet power trumps all other powers you have played with, including quick jabs, teleporting, talking to the wind, or sharp things that can pin you to walls.

The other night, when I was putting you to bed, you remembered the story that your brothers and dad told us at dinner. About the man who was homeless, hungry, and a little crazy. Dad told us how the man wanted Ben to come talk to him and that Daddy gave him a corn dog, and the man put it in his pocket for later. We all laughed at their story, but then it got quiet and Daniel said, "I feel sorry for that man". And you quietly said "I feel sorry too". "Sorry" is something that you feel deeply for people in need. That is part of your power. I see you play with this power all the time, and I always marvel.

Your power of compassion led you to tears that night. We talked long and seriously about people who were cold, and homeless, and hungry, and you had a lot of questions. Your wet face buried itself in my sleeve while we talked about ways we can make a difference in others' lives.

Every night since then, you have prayed sincerely for those in need to have shelter, warm blankets, and coats. We have planned together to do more.

The other day when I helped you remember your backpack while you were walking out the door for school you took my hand and said sincerely, "It would be a bad world without you".

Seth, I don't know about that, but I know very certainly that it would indeed be a bad world without you, and the world will be a better place because of you and your special power of compassion.

Love,

Mom

Fourteen

2011-11-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

Seriously? Is this the only photo I took of Benjamin on his 14th birthday? Why yes. Hm.

Well, it doesn't mean we love him any less than we did on his first birthday, when we took 572 photos of him.

After all, he did get blueberry buckle for breakfast and an enchilada dinner that night.

If you feed 14 year olds, they like you better. So that is what I did.

He also got a new baby cousin, remember?

Big birthday shopping trip with dad coming up.

Ben is one heck of a young man. We couldn't have asked for a better son to be our oldest. So many exciting things in his future, including EFY this summer and church dances (just got his dance card!).

Incidentally, that was the Best Birthday Cake Ever (according to Paul and all the kids). Made with love for my sweet boy.

Welcome Little Lucas!

2011-11-01T19:30:00.000-07:00

Benjamin now shares a birthday with a very special little guy.

On November 1, little baby Lucas entered the world just before 5 am. Tracy and Carlos are the tired but proud and happy parents. This little soul was such a wanted and welcomed little one. We are so happy to have him in the family.

He's has a lot of sweet cousins to love him.

There have been so many babies born into the family recently, each and every one a miracle. It's exciting each time.

printing little toes and fingers

Haunting

2011-10-31T21:06:00.000-07:00

What did you do on Halloween? We carved our pumpkins. One of them we grew ourselves (this one), and the others we bought from a family in the other ward that grew a gazillion ginorm pumpkins in their yard and sold them from their doorstep.

Julia dressed up as a hippie, and with this departure from the princess/fairy genre of costume, has officially entered "tween" status.

Seth looked good enough to eat. Certainly he was the yummiest s'more trick or treating along the street.

He got very good at posing, as everyone at the ward trunk or treat wanted his photograph.

He knew that after the front shot came the side shot, naturally.

Wow! I finally got a photo of my boy. He took his candy-passing-out duties very seriously.

And this boy was "cheesy". Costume not available in stores. Sorry.

Happy Halloween! (jack o' lantern by Seth)

2011-10-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

I wish my laundry room looked like this:

Image from houseandhome.com

But it doesn't. It looks like this:

ACTUAL unretouched photos!

Which is why I have been thinking a lot lately about really getting in there and cleaning and reorganizing. I feel like I'm really tight on space in there, but when I think that my mom never had a laundry room (with 6 kids!!!) and that many others do their laundry in the garage (or even a river) I know that I just need to be grateful. Most of the time I am, but since I spend SO much time on laundry, it would be nice to have a pleasant place to do it, don't you think? This is my next home improvement project.

The Witch is IN

2011-10-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

I am having a problem this year with Halloween. Don't get me wrong... I don't hate it. It's fun.

I even upped the decor this year with, among other things, this cute printable:

Photo from eighteen25

Not fun, however, is the fact that I just got in a tussle with my big boys about Halloween costumes.

What I don't like is the thought of paying $64.95 (I added it up, with tax) for two stupid black robes that they want for Halloween this year, and that is not counting the "weapons" that they would like to buy as accessories. Does that make me the all-time Grinch of Halloween?

What is wrong with using a little imagination and humor and going to the church Halloween party as, say, a quarterback?

Photo from Family Fun

Or, as I have begged my kids every year for the past four years, a ham and cheese sandwich?

from Family Fun

I'm not sure what happened tonight, but somehow I got talked into going to Halloween City and SOMEHOW we (the big boys and I) drove home sulking and not talking. That hardly EVER happens around here. Ever.

Is this just a typical mother-teen power struggle thing? Probably. Does it have to do with letting go and letting my kids grow up and make their own choices? Probably. Does it have to do with my annoyance at the grotesqueness and commercialization of Halloween? Probably. Does it have to do with penny-pinching? Yes.

Being a mom is hard. Being a mom of teenagers is hard.

I don't know what my boys will go dressed as tomorrow night. I do know things will work out, because they always do. And if it helps, I might even throw some candy their way. Stay tuned...

Forty and Pregnant... What a Surprise!

2011-10-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

I shall tell you how I was surprised to suddenly be a forty year old pregnant woman. But first... let me set the stage.

A weekend getaway in Bodega, a teeny, tiny town on the Sonoma coast, just a little bit north of our real life. Total quiet and abandonment of even internet or cell phone access. A mossy tree just outside the breakfast room. Enchanting, really.

I could get a spa treatment here, Paul could read uninterrupted there...

(I can't resist a mossy tree. Mossy anything, really. Roofs, rocks...)

It was upon checking in to this lovely little inn when I spotted the spa menu posted at the desk. Trying to select my bliss among all the lovely offerings, my eyes wandered up and down the rubs, scrubs, and soaks...

Until the kindly innkeeper, in a brusque German accent, observed that I would be wanting the prenatal massage. No sooner had I begun to feel the overwhelming nausea and shakiness of the first trimester, he sternly proclaimed that, of course, horseback riding was "out of the question"!

Suddenly, my lovely, romantic getaway with my husband was sullied by a dizzying, stinging, horrifying realization that I must be really fat!

Because, you must be told... I am not pregnant.

Was it the three huge bags I was hauling? Was that what he saw? Was it my blousy shirt billowing at just the right time? What?? What??? What kind of person makes such assumptions and so boldly verbalizes them?

What was a poor 5' 2" size 4-6 girl to do?? What else could I do??? I texted my sisters and bff... and awaited their validation and their commiseration. That's when we found out we had no cell phone reception. So my dear, dear Paul had to be the one to pull me out. Said he, so sweetly, "Jeanette, if our entire weekend is ruined because of this, I'm going to sue that guy".

My Hero.

It would be nice to say that I have such unshakeable self-confidence that being mistaken for a pregnant woman didn't hurt my feelings one bit. I laughed it off and played along with that innkeeper to save face, while really, I just wanted to crawl under a rock (a mossy one, of course), and die!

I put on a brave face for the rest of the night, and we made every pregnancy joke conceivable.

It was the morning after, while enjoying a lovely breakfast of free pastries and fruit, when I spotted, seated directly behind us, another couple, fellow guests. He with dark, close-cut hair, tinged with grey, she, with a blonde layered bob, just my size... except for... what was this??? A big pregnant belly! Ah HA. It must clearly have been a case of mistaken identity! I mean... I'm not the skinniest gal, having actually had four real live pregnancies, but I'm not too big for a horseback ride or a deep tissue massage!

And with that mystery solved, we continued to enjoy our weekend, perusing shops, and of course, doing what we really wanted to do anyway before the morning-sickness set in... eating.

Sampling lovely preserves and cheeses at a local farmer's market,

scones at Wild Flour Bread,

and most delicious of all, two double-scoop trips to the most wonderful little ice-cream shop. No pickles needed.

Doughnuts

2011-10-01T21:02:00.000-07:00

I have been the worst about taking photos lately. I have been in an organizational, cleaning, tossing, scrubbing, and re-organizing frenzy. Gotta get that camera out again.

Thank goodness for Daniel's ipod touch. The boys took dozens of photos and video of each other shooting hoops. Ben even scaled the hoop to get some arial shots. Do you see Paul and me in the distance?

I unloaded on Paul the other night about everything that is on my mind...and let me tell you, there is a lot, and some of it ain't purdy. Patient, patient Paul. He suggested that the first part of my plan of action should be to focus one week on all the things that are good in life and all the things that I should be grateful for (which are plenty). I guess this could be considered some kind of gratitude "cleansing"... which prepares me for the next step. Not sure what that step will be yet...I hope it involves a good book and some chocolate.

So as a mental exercise to accompany the spiritual exercise of recognizing gratitude, I give you a list of some "doughnuts":

1. I actually really like my kids... I don't just love them. They are creative and smart and talented and funny, and I truly enjoy them.

2. I have never had to work outside the home. To me, that is truly a blessing. There is no other job I'd rather have. Note to self: please write a blog post about this.

3. Our family has always enjoyed good health. There have been episodes of course... kidney stones, hernias, occasional bouts of the flu, a tonsillectomy, and recently, a surgery to biopsy an abdominal mass... but after all is said and done, I have four healthy children. How amazing is that?

4. Living here we have met so many amazing people. Thank you friends, for being a part of our lives.

5. Every window in our house has a beautiful view of trees, green, hills... even on days when I don't get outside I am surrounded by nature. The birch trees are starting to turn yellow and float little golden leaves down to our deck.

6. My family lives here... my parents, my four sisters and their families... the only one missing is my awesome brother and his adorable family. As hard as it is to live in the Bay Area, I think the benefits of having family close by for my children far outweigh the negatives.

7. Trader Joe's is only 5 minutes away.

8. My husband is home by 5:00 every night. We laugh at the same things.

9. Seth still holds my hand on the way to school. It makes my heart ache.

10. I got my windows and carpets cleaned recently. Worth every penny.

2011-09-22T22:05:00.000-07:00

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Tim. 1:6–7.)

This scripture has been on my mind lately, especially as we have had an unusual start to our school year. I think Heavenly Father is trying to tell me something. I have realized that some of the decisions I make are based more upon fear than faith.

Fear about things my children will hear or see at school, fear about the negative influence of peers, fear that my children might make a bad choice and end up jobless, loveless, homeless and living in a gutter because of the decisions that we did or did not make.

So I wonder, is fear what I want to drive my decision making? Or faith? Faith that I can be guided by the Spirit to make good choices... and just as importantly, that my children can be guided as well. Faith that if mistakes are made, the Atonement can make things right again. Faith that it is possible to live in the midst of imperfection and still (!) have a pretty great life.

It is just this kind of thinking that will have to get me through days like this, when my boys come home from school and excitedly tell me about the "girl fight" they witnessed at lunch, in which one poor girl ended up practically unconscious on the ground, and knowing that is just the tip of the iceberg for them.

President Gordon B. Hinckley said in this talk, "We are pained by the desecration of that which to us is holy. But we need not fear. This cause is greater than any man. It will outlast all its enemies. We need only go forward by the power of faith without fear."

And there you go. I've got the scriptures and a prophet backing me up, so I must be on to something here...

School Days

2011-09-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

First Day of School 2011

Julia - 4th Grade, Mrs. Carney

Seth - 1st Grade, Mrs. Balestrieri

Back to School happened a few times for us this year. The first Back to School was for Julia and Seth, who started their year at Jackson.

The second Back to School was for Ben and Daniel, who started three long weeks later at a new charter school called Silicon Valley Flex Academy.

The third Back to School happened just yesterday, when Ben and Daniel started 7th and 8th grade at Britton Middle school.

The past couple of months, and especially the past few weeks have thrown us for a loop, and taught us some very valuable life lessons. Let me explain.

We decided to send the boys to the new charter school after much contemplation. The model for the school sounded good, the staff and principal are great, and there were some good families also going (including almost the entire deacon's quorum in our ward). The boys pushed back at the decision, but we stuck to our guns, telling them that we were committed to giving it a good three months to see if if would work out for them and for us. We gave it less than two whole weeks.

Why?

So many reasons. But what it really boiled down to in the end was that Paul and I had distinct impressions that this just wasn't a good fit.

We explained to the boys that while they might see this as us "caving" to their complaints (and in one particular boy's case, begging, pleading, and torturing), it was actually a chance to learn a good life lesson. Here's what we told the boys:

When you make an important decision, you make that decision with all the information and knowledge available to you. You study it out, think about it, pray about it, and you make your choice. Then, as time goes by, if you find that things aren't as expected or you see yourself moving down the wrong track, then it is OK to make a course correction! This took some humility on our part as parents, admitting that we weren't "right" after all, but we also told the boys that it was not a "mistake". See the difference? We don't see it as a mistake because we are actually glad that we tried it out, if only for a short time. If we had sent them to Britton straight away, we would have always been left wondering if perhaps we should be at Flex... if we were passing up a good opportunity for something better.

We want the boys to know that it is ok, even essential, to be flexible and brave enough to make course corrections, even if you are a little afraid of making other people mad, or offending someone, or just looking like a "quitter". I know that the principal of the charter school believes that I didn't give it a fair chance, and that I am caving to rumors spread by 12 and 13 year olds. But making the right choice is better than saving face. Especially when that choice is supported or guided by the Spirit.

Now, I am not a huge fan of Britton. Let me be clear on that. I yearn for something else. I see friends' and relatives' photos and blogs of their kids in middle school surrounded by so many great friends and in clean classrooms and I just want to barf. Ok... well, maybe not barf, more than MOVE somewhere else. Or it just makes me wish that we had settled somewhere where there were better school options. Arizona? Utah? Idaho, Indiana? I don't know. I am always searching for my Utopia... which I KNOW does not exist, people!!! The grass is always greener, right?

What I do know is that when I dropped the boys off at that icky school yesterday morning, I was completely at peace and felt that a huge weight had been lifted. I felt light and calm. Why? I'm not sure of all the whys. They will still hear the f-word a bazillion times a day, and be inundated with all the voices and actions of a world spinning down, down, down... but there they are.

I have to go forward with faith that the Lord knows us best and will guide our paths.

Sometimes I just wish that path was in the beautiful la-la land of my mother dreams.

Paul's 44th Birthday... it happened of the FIRST first day of school.

Tahoe Special Delivery

2011-08-14T20:47:00.000-07:00

The ultimate culminating event at Tahoe this year came on the last day of vacation. Lindsay delivered a beautiful baby boy (named, finally, Milo Gregory Michael Drummond) at Tahoe Forest Hospital in Truckee.

I, along with my mom and Grandma Lowe, had the honor of being there as Milo came into the world. It was a beautiful and happy morning. Congratulations Lindsay, Brian, Sam, Charlie, and Greta!

Tahomies Take to the Water

2011-08-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

This year the place to be (if you were Sam, Charlie, or Seth) was at the sandy beach. Those kids could play there all day, making castles and covering themselves with sand. I loved it, because I was so happy to sit under the umbrella and look out over the water all afternoon.

But we had to get out on that water eventually...

Seth and Julia

Front load

Back load

First ones out! Go Jonah!

Lovely pregnant Lindsay

Uncle Brian with Julia and Sammy

Ben, Charlie, and Julia. This was taken before the innertube got pulled under water. That was fun, right Charlie?

And... back at the sandy beach, collecting rocks for the sandcastle, or whatever it was they were building that day.

Tahomies

2011-08-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

The players this year...

Everyone was there except Annie & Scott and little Nate, and Uncle Peter. We missed you guys!

Ben (getting ready to defend his horseshoe title)

Tommy and Kathryn (sans OFFICER Skeehan)

Baby Carrie Lynn... she's gorgeous, isn't she?

Grandma Lowe

Sam, Seth, Grandpa Lowe, Julia, and Grandma Lowe

Seth the slugger

Pregnant Tracy rockin' the baseball look

Paul. He's hot.

Seth (yes, I indulge myself with these cute photos, right? But I mean... come ON! He's so stinkin' cute)

Juliaaaaaaaaa!

Mike and Jonah

Jonah... I can't stand how cute my brother's kids are!

And Sweet Baby Greta... I want to just eat her up!

The lovely Kristin

Daniel. He's got some eyes, that kid.

WE LOVE LAKE TAHOE!!!!

p.s. The week before Tahoe I was at YW camp as head of crafts. No camera, no photos. Good memories though.

Produce

2011-08-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

Look! I grew something in my summer garden!

And then I ate it.

Birthday Girl

2011-08-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

Julia's 9th birthday was celebrated with a bicycle party (my idea for a quick, easy, and painless day). So, her cute friends came and decorated their bikes with tissue paper flowers and streamers, and then we went to the school to ride.

Cute, huh?

Julia is so lucky to have such sweet friends. Having a summer birthday means that hardly anyone is in town for her birthday, but her favorites were able to come. Julia loves her girlfriends... and we are thankful that she has them, since, as she reminds me frequently, it is SO not fair that she is the only girl in the family.

Cake.

Birthday Girl and Cake. Yummy.

Ocean Blue

2011-08-14T20:20:00.000-07:00

When Seth was studying the ocean in Kindergarten last school year, his teacher asked the class who had been to the aquarium. Seth told me that he felt so bad that he had never been. So, like any good, guilt-ridden mom, I insisted that we go. He loved every minute of it. We all did.

Sports

2011-08-14T20:18:00.000-07:00

Our little family is not a super sports family. All my kids are athletic and coordinated, but despite our forays into seasons of soccer and baseball (and many years of dance), we have never really insisted that the kids pick a sport and stay with it. Sometimes I wonder if that is a mistake, but I think it is nice to get to try new things. Ben did a season of track in 7th grade, before finding out that he had a fractured tailbone. That has slowed him down this summer considerably. What a bummer. ;)

Daniel was in two basketball camps this summer and loved them. Jimmer mania swept the Millward home this year, and basketball has become D's favorite (for now). Luckily, they can go across the street every day and shoot hoops at the school.

The girl in the aqua told me last September that she didn't want to dance anymore, which took me by surprise and was a little disappointing. She has the moves, and I would have loved to keep her in dance. When told that she had to choose something she responded "I want to swim!". And she has! She is in a newer, less competitive team in town, which is just perfect for us. I absolutely love that she will swim for an hour and come home as happy and bubbly as she can be. During meets she swims with a big smile on her face. Her first meet was on a rainy, windy, freezing Saturday, which I thought would kill the excitement... but it didn't. I don't know how long this will last (she has been making noises about wanting to quit), but while it lasts, I am really enjoying having a swimmer.

What will be next?

Arizona

2011-08-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

Michelle, Paul, and Sandy

Seth (seriously, I can't resist these pool pictures)

Julia and Maya

Cali and Ben

All the Millward cousins

A trip to Sedona (just Paul and me)

The view from our patio... look... GREEN! Cool, lovely green.

Arizona is hot. In the summer it is really, really hot. The week we were in Arizona this summer it was really, really, really HOT. Like, 117* hot. Wowie mamma! But the kids had so much fun seeing their cousins, eating shaved ice at Bahama Bucks, and swimming all day that we are glad we went.

Paul and I were able to sneak away for a couple of days to L'Auberge in Sedona, which is really a lovely place. The cottage was right on a rushing creek surrounded by green trees, and the food was a-maz-ing!!! I loved our waiter, because he insisted that I have the creme brulee even though I was stuffed. Good call. You can't ever go wrong eating creme brulee.

I also turned 40 in Arizona. I survived. Blech.

Tastes Like Summer

2011-08-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

While the big boys were doing... er... something (I forgot), I took these two sweet kids to our favorite summer spot, Gizdich Ranch, after art camp one day.

We had lunch under the shade of an apple tree.

Then we got to work!

See? We worked so hard, it shows!

We came home with our sweet spoils, ready to be made into olallieberry pies and topping for whole wheat pancakes.

Birthday Boy

2011-08-14T19:55:00.000-07:00

This was Daniel's very specific request for his birthday breakfast. Pancakes, strawberries, whipped cream, ice cream, and a donut.

I agreed because, well, you only turn 12 once!

Happy B-day Daniel. Congratulations on becoming a deacon. xoxox

Last Day of School... Sniff, Sniff

2011-08-14T19:52:00.000-07:00

This year began with two firsts... a child entering middle school and and my youngest entering kindergarten, and ended with two sad lasts... Daniel's last day of elementary (perhaps not so sad for him, I guess), and Seth's last day of kindergarten. Ok, I'd better make that three sad lasts, because it meant that it was the last day of kindergarten for me too. Luckily, all the children had great teachers and this year was a good one for them.

Daniel was the recipient of the Presidential Award for Outstanding Academic Excellence. But of course. His teacher, Mr. Ma, was such a great influence on him this year.

LOVE, love, love Seth's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Pollard. Seth's K1 combo class was such a dream this year. She managed with ease and there were so many benefits to having a smaller kinder group. The first graders were so kind to them as well.

Best buddies Ryan, Seth, Griffin, and Ian. Seth was lucky to have such great kids in his class.

Somehow, I didn't get any photos of Ben and Julia on their last day. They had good years as well. Ben survived seventh grade (getting all As again) at Britton (I'm sure I hated it more than he did), and Julia was a superstar in 3rd grade with Ms. Beale.

A Little Easter Sermon

2011-04-28T17:07:00.000-07:00

Seth gave a talk in Primary on Easter. He read the whole thing all by himself. I felt so proud of him. When I can scan photos on my new printer I'll post the photo he held up. His message was what Easter is all about:

This is a picture of my Great Grandpa Bell. My brothers and sister knew him and got to play with him, but I didn’t. He died right after I was born and I never got to meet him. Sometimes I feel sad that I didn’t get to know my Great Grandpa. But then I think of something that makes me feel happy!

I think about how Jesus Christ was resurrected after he was crucified. Because Jesus was resurrected, that means everyone who has ever lived on this earth will be resurrected too. My Great Grandpa will be resurrected, and I’ll get to know him and play with him.

Easter is a very special time to celebrate Jesus’ resurrection. It is also a special time to remember his suffering in the Garden, when he paid the price for all of our sins, mistakes, and pain. He made it possible to be forgiven.

I like Easter because of the Easter Bunny and the candy, but I can remember that the most important thing about Easter is my Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ.

Noteworthy

2011-04-25T12:43:00.000-07:00

Since I've last written a few noteworthy things have happened:

a trip to Disneyland

a weekend at the Claremont, dinner at Chez Panisse, and a day at the spa

Ben started Track and Field

The Virus

we planted a garden

a 20 miler scout hike

the kids have rediscovered the trampoline

But most noteworthy of all...

Our baby Seth turned 6

and got to have his first "real" birthday party with friends,

which involved Jedi training and a battle with Darth Vader. It was awesome.

Prayers for Japan

2011-03-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

I wept yesterday when I read of the little baby girl who was found amid the rubble in Japan and returned to her parents. I shared that story of hope with my children at dinner. They have been remembering the people of Japan in their prayers every day.

ZZZZZ

2011-03-13T21:10:00.000-07:00

Hm.

Has it really been so long?

Every day I think that I should write in my blog.

And then

I

get

tired.

And another day has gone by.

Someday I will look back and I will have forgotten things. So...

I will start to blog again.

Tomorrow.

Rain

2011-02-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

So much rain! I love it for two reasons. First, it's hot chocolate weather. Second, in just a couple of weeks Morgan Hill is going to look like this:

And on an unrelated note, I think it's time for another tea party.

Epic Fail

2011-02-13T17:56:00.000-08:00

The words "epic" and "fail" both made Lake Superior State University's 2011 List of Banished Words. That is good news to me, because now my 13-year-old and my 11-year-old won't ever use them again, thanks to the good students who compiled this list.

I am getting sick of hearing them from their sassy little mouths. And additionally, hearing them in my poor little brain. Repeatedly.

Me: Gee... my kids haven't seen a leafy green vegetable on their plates since... umm... since...
Me: Fail!

Me: Well, now that it's 5:00 pm, I'd better start those breakfast dishes and pull something out of our food storage to make for dinner.
Me: Fail!

Kids: Screaming
Me: Screaming back
Me: FAIL!

Ben (texting us at the restaurant while babysitting at home): What should I feed the kids for dinner?
Me: Hmmm... cereal and toast??
Me: Fail.

Cat: I have fleas now, because you are too lazy and forgetful to give my my flea treatment.
Me: EPIC, EPIC, EPIC FAAAAAAAAIL!!!!

Me: Wow. It's Sunday night, and even though I made 5,000 trips to Target last week, my kids still don't have Valentine's Day cards to pass out at school tomorrow.
Me: Epic Fail

Isn't it a relief that "epic" and "fail" have been banned?

Now things will sound more like this:

Me: Hmm... it's Sunday night, and my kids have terrorized the house, I have been grouchy all day long, let my kids count chips and cupcakes at the after-church "linger longer" as lunch, and I have made no preparations for dinner.
Me: At a complete loss for words.

Better luck next week.

Julia and Seth good-naturedly making homemade Valentine's Day cards

Going Gray, Pushing 40, and the Irrelevancy of Middle Age

2011-01-27T13:37:00.000-08:00

The other day Ben spotted a gray hair on my head. He was a little too delighted to point it out to me. I still think that it was just a very, very blond hair, but admittedly, gray hair has been spotted before, especially as I near the eight-weeks-post-hair-appointment mark.

Ironically, this boy who laughed gleefully at this new-found mark of an aging mother is going through rapid, significant physical change himself. Perhaps this is why we both laughed about it. Growing up is hard, and the thought of growing old is hard, and what can you do but just laugh at our bodies that are mercilessly subject to the effects of time and hormones? I joke with him as I coax him into the bathroom to shave the shadow of a 'stache that has suddenly appeared above his lip, and he can retaliate by pulling at a gray hair. We're even.

In five months I will turn 40. What the #*&%?????

The 40th birthday party, as you know, is the party for which all tacky party-store decor is based around tombstones, black balloons, and old-age jokes. The thing I'm trying to wrap my brain around is what, exactly, does this birthday mean to me? Does 40 mean that I am now "middle-aged"?

I'm pretty sure that "middle aged" is a term that has always, and will forever, apply to my parents. Not me. I'm pretty sure that when my parents were in their 30's I thought of them as "middle-aged". I will likely think of them as middle-aged when they are in their 80's. One thing I know for sure is that I have always feared middle age as a time of life that, in our youth-obsessed culture, one becomes totally irrelevant. No longer the young, beautiful, and becoming years of the 20's, past the complete perfection of still-young-enough-to-be-cool-but-old-enough-to-have-figured-a-few-things-out of the thirties, and not yet to the revered pedestal of the honored elder, the middle ages are for what?

I will have to figure that out. I mean, what else am I going to be doing?

I read somewhere that "They" had done a study showing that people who had a positive outlook on aging and who associated positive words with aging were less likely, as aging adults, to suffer hearing loss and other adverse effects of the onslaught of the years.

So, in the countdown to the big 4-0, I will eschew all thoughts of black balloons, tombstones, and irrelevancy, and attempt to focus on just... well, life, I guess.

Because it can't get all that bad all that fast. After all, I can still do the splits, still do handstands, and my husband still thinks I look like I'm 26. Even if I do have a few gray hairs.

Most importantly, I still feel like I'm 26. And age is all in your head right? Right???

D E C E M B E R . . .

2010-12-29T22:31:00.000-08:00

Here we are at the end of December. The longest ~~month~~ blog post of 2010.

I haven't blogged for a month. That could be due to so many reasons. Too busy, too busy, too busy, and perhaps there was a touch of the winter blues thrown in there at some point during the month.

I was feeling those blues again today. After a visit to the gym to sweat them out, I felt a little teary. I'm pretty sure it wasn't just eye-sweat. While trying to pinpoint the source of my malaise, I felt a little guilty for being in a funk during the hap-happiest season of all. Perhaps it's all the tinsel and trappings that must now be put away, thrown away, vacuumed away. Or maybe all the noise, noise, noise noise... from having four children home for two weeks in the rain. I don't know.

I'm pretty sure it's not a case of my heart being two sizes too small. Because after I finally sat down to download all the photos of December 2010, I couldn't help but simply feel so much gratitude for everything that I do have, and for all the things that are right and good in our lives right now.

So to the winter blahs I have to say "bah, humbug"! Come again, I'm sure they will. But for now, I have chased them away by looking again at the sacred beauty that Christmas+family+lights all aglow bring.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Fireside at Grandpa and Grandma's

Gingerbread houses - totally cheated this year and used graham crackers. No one cared :)

Lighting up the Trail House

A Kindergarten Christmas program - Seth was the cutest one and the best singer. Really.

Gosh golly, I sure love Kindergarten. That is why I push on Seth's head every day and tell him he can't grow up.

Christmas Eve - Peter and Kathryn

Grandpa and Lindsay

Annie, Scott, and Nathaniel

Grandpa preparing the kids for their part in the Christmas Eve program

Kristin, Carrie, and Mike visiting from Texas...

with Jonah, who wouldn't let me take a picture of him.

Christmas Morning

Seth's ornament - a gift to me

Julia's Dolls with new dresses waving goodbye to Santa at the fireplace

New ornaments from Santa

"Can we go down yet, can we go down yet, can we go down yet???"

You can come down now!

What does Santa bring a 13 year old? Will it get even trickier when he is a 14 year old?

Santa knows this boy well.

Luke Skywalker

The Brain Notebook - #1 requested item on Seth's list
Somehow, Santa found a brain notebook -
It was a Christmas miracle!

We are so proud of these ~~fine young men~~ wackadoos.

Sorting presents

And then up to the Lowe's

Tracy, Carlos, Julia

Love, love, love this little girl... and so glad we finally got to meet her!

I love these cousins too.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a sword fight!

Told you it would be a long post. It's just good to remember all the things that we are blessed with. We are a pretty lucky family. Even if at times my Grinch fingers are nervously drumming.

And wasn't Elder Uchdorf's Christmas talk wonderful?

Joy to the World

2010-12-29T19:38:00.000-08:00

I know I already posted this on Facebook.

But still...

Merry Christmas.

p.s. December updates coming soon. I know you were holding your breath. Exhale.

Gratitude

2010-11-26T18:30:00.000-08:00

I hosted Thanksgiving Dinner this year... for the first time ever! I am officially a grown-up. Since it was Lindsay's, Kathryn's and Annie's year to be with their in-laws, it was a very small group. Just our family, Tracy and Carlos, and Grandpa and Grandma, with the Marcotullios joining us in the evening for dessert. The day was very cozy and delicious.

It's Here

2010-11-20T21:39:00.000-08:00

Yikes. I've committed! My sketchbook for The Sketchbook Project has arrived. Now, to just get over my insecurities and fears and attempt to fill it before the January 15th deadline.

Stay tuned...

Success and Failure

2010-11-17T12:11:00.000-08:00

Our summer garden was a colossal failure. All the seeds sprouted and then did nothing. Nothing! Ok, some things grew, ever so slowly, into a tiny plant, then that plant just sat there and did... NOTHING. We figured that it was probably the soil. Every other condition was ideal. So, at the end of the summer, I went to see "The King of Compost", Brother Nicholsen. He kindly loaded up bags of his black gold in the back of my van, and I amended our soil with that, along with some composted horse manure from a farm up the peninsula, and some foul smelling mushroom compost from a local mushroom farm. It nearly killed me to get that... the stench was quite unbearable. But then... success! Too late to have abundant tomatoes and summer squash, but not too late for carrots. I'm not exaggerating when I say that in the new concoction, our plants doubled in size in a week, and have just continued to grow. I know we can't get tomatoes anymore, but I have been reluctant to pull the plants out, just because I am so delighted to see them actually growing! The carrots above went into the crockpot with potatoes and beef for Sunday dinner.

Here is a success story still waiting to be written. This cutie pie of a busy daughter cleaned her room on Saturday. It's Monday morning. Just look at the damage done in such a short amount of time! Is there hope for her? Have I somehow failed her as a mother?

One Little, Two Little...

2010-11-12T12:45:00.000-08:00

One Hundred Little Indians!

Planting corn...

gathering berries...

donning war paint...

greeting the settlers...

punching buffalo...

and walking home.

Jackson Kindergarten Native American Day 2010

A Day Out

2010-11-12T12:09:00.000-08:00

What to do on Veteran's Day? The weather is sunny and beautiful. Hiking? Can't go hiking due to booty-kickin' boot camp soreness. Still, must be (mostly) outside, must find entertainment worthy of the 5-13 year old crowd.

A train ride? Perfect.

Perfect!

To downtown Palo Alto to visit the House of Foam. Or not.

How about we go across the street from House of Foam to the Peninsula Creamery?

Shakes, fries, jukebox, spinningthebarstoolsreallyreallyfast, and then a walk to the Apple Store (remember the 11 and 13 year old)!

Then... getting on the wrong train home, getting off the wrong train, taking the little boys to relieve themselves in the bushes while waiting in the dark for the right train, nursing a patient baby (Linz, not me), screaming with fear and delight as trains whiz by, dancing by the tracks, a game of tag, and finally getting on the right train. Home.

The Pictures Say It All

2010-11-12T11:51:00.000-08:00

Carrot

2010-11-12T11:43:00.000-08:00

When Daniel turned 11 last June, we asked him what he wanted for his birthday. What he wanted was a flight in an airplane. Not a dinky little small aircraft, no sir. He wanted to fly in a big airplane. Somewhere. So... we made him a deal. It had to do with a certain behavior we wanted to change, and if he could show us earnest effort in improving this behavior (tracked ever so scientifically with little star and smiley face stickers) then an airplane ride he would have. And he did.

Paul, Ben, and Daniel flew all the way in a big airplane to Utah, home of Crown Burgers. A long way to go for a hamburger. But, you know, it was featured on Man vs. Food, and if its good enough for Adam Richman, it's good enough for two hungry carnivorous boys like mine.

And as as an extra treat, a BYU football game. Love BYU, love UTAH, love STICKER CHARTS, love BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENTS!

We Are Still Here

2010-11-12T11:33:00.000-08:00

Sitting around, getting pudgy...

making atrocious messes and having pillow fights...

being forced on outings with the family where we (!) actually end up having fun...

and just doing the regular stuff, like a school field trips (apple picking at Gizdich Ranch).

Oh We Got Trouble...

2010-10-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

Oh yes we got trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for...

Paul

Who is apparently teaching our kids to flash gang signs and tag public property.

You can take the boy out of Oakland, but you can't take the Oakland out of the boy.

Oh Look, Jeanette Has Baked Another Wedding Cake!

2010-10-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

Sunflower Wedding Cake

Here's the thing about cakes. They are never perfect. I want all my cakes to be perfect. They never are. But the thing about wedding cakes is that the overall effect is so lovely. When it is all finished and set up, and the mess cleared away, I feel like it was worth the trouble. I still see what isn't perfect about it, but no one else does, and it ends up not really mattering anyway. I also want my cakes to be as good inside as they are out. This one was chocolate zucchini cake filled with dark chocolate ganache and iced with vanilla italian meringue buttercream. It was, frankly, delicious.

Here's the thing about life. It is never perfect. I want my life to be perfect. It never is. Hopefully, I can step back and look at my life when all is said and done and the mess is all cleared away and think "well, it wasn't perfect, but the overall effect was so... lovely". It was worth the trouble. And I hope I can be as good inside as chocolate zucchini cake with ganache filling. 'Cause that's pretty darned good.

All or Nothin' Baby

2010-10-09T19:42:00.000-07:00

Who says that blogging has to be an all or nothing proposition? Well, not me anyway. At least that is what I've decided. For today, life goes on at the Trail House. I Blog on.

Quiz

The above photo is me:

a. contemplating the inexplicable meanness of grown-up women
b. perusing realtor.com... again
c. savoring an unexpected bit of good news
d. loving my new office/project room made possible by squishing all three boys into the same room
e. signing up for a ceramics class
f. staring at my calendar thinking "holy moly!"
g. planning my winter garden and lamenting the utter failure of our summer garden
h. inputting another receipt into our Very Structured New Budget spreadsheet
i. playing with Photo Booth on our new iMac

Julia's New Bling

2010-09-02T20:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a girl so happy to have braces? No? That's because there has never been a girl so happy to get braces in the history of modern orthodontia. I think it has something to do with the fact that "almost all teenagers have braces" (according to Julia), and the notoriety, albeit short-lived, that leaving school and returning with braces can get a third grader.

Can you see that this girl is in a fair amount of pain? No? That's because, even with the pain, there has never been a girl so happy to get braces in the history of modern orthodontia! And to add to the excitement, dinner tonight was a Pomegranate Pick-Me-Up, while all the other poor kids had to eat mini pizzas. Ha!

Baptism

2010-08-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

"That felt great", she said with a big smile as she came up out of the water.

Congratulations Julia. We are so proud of you.

A Day in the Life

2010-08-25T21:27:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 6:00
Showered, dressed, made bed
Fixed four school lunches
Four kids fed, dressed, teeth brushed, backpacks on
Family prayer
Middle School kid out the door to early morning math club
Walked the other kids to school
Worked in Seth's class for an hour and a half
Dinner in the Crock Pot
Fed the cat
To Target for a rug for our new "book nook" and some spray bottles for cleaning supplies
Took four flat bike tires into bike shop for new heavy duty tubes and slime
Trader Joe's
Prepped ingredients for tomorrow's cupcakes for Moe
Picked up Kindergardener
Cleaned all bookshelves
Fixed internet connection
Welcomed kids home and fixed them snacks
Returned e-mails
Lay on Julia's bed for 10 minutes (favorite place to rest)
Peeled and chopped carrots and celery for easy vegetable eating
Cleaned downstairs bathroom
Organized cleaning supplies upstairs and down
Played the piano for 15 minutes
Cleaned the microwave
Sighed with relief that there was no swim practice for Julia today
Read to Seth
IM'd Paul throughout the day
Called sprinkler guy to find out why the heck he didn't show up today. No answer.
Picked up tires at bike shop
To Safeway for some forgotten items needed for the cupcakes
Made dinner
Went to YW/YM service project where I supervised painting a fence/girls painting each other
Came home and finished cleaning the kitchen
Made icing
Tried to figure out my new cell phone
Put together cupcake boxes
Blogged
Family Prayer

Read

And

Went

To

BED

Good Night

Regrets

2010-08-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

I have made many mistakes in my life. Oh my, so many. Some big, some small. Some once-in-a-lifetime-never-again kind of mistakes, and the kind of irritating mistakes I make on a daily basis. And I have a few regrets. But I know I will never, ever regret the choice I made to stay at home with my children. Because one thing I will never, ever regret is that I didn't spend enough time with them before they started school. Those preschool years fly by so fast they are gone in a blink, and I will never regret having missed them. Every sweet little moment.

I had a good cry the week before Seth started kindergarten...on the same day that Ben started middle school. I got it all out of my system so that I could be excited for them on the big day. I swear it seems like yesterday that it was little Ben walking through those kindergarten doors with Mrs. Pfeffer.

And now it's this little guy. Ready to face his new world with his Star Wars backpack.

Julia is in 3rd grade and Daniel is at the top of the elementary school heap as a 6th grader.

Here's to a new school year full of good things and no regrets.

p.s. While the kids were at school last week I took a solo trip to Target. So many moms with babies, toddlers, and preschoolers. I felt a little lonely. One woman passed me while her little preschool son darted into a rack full of clothes. Exasperated, she exclaimed to me "Just one more week before he starts school"! If she only knew...

Summer Sweetness

2010-08-06T11:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, I made each and every one of the chocolate "cigars". Pain. In. The. Rear.

White chocolate shells and sugar "sand".

This is the first cake I've made with my new Cake Stackers cake support system. I get all geeky over new cake stuff. And I loved this. What a time and worry-saver! Another new thing to geek out over... PME Luster Dust spray in an aerosol can. Fun.

Summer Soundtrack

2010-08-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

In Fullerton during our week-long visit with Great Grandma and Grandpa Lowe

Our Summer Soundtrack

selected by a Mom, an almost-teenager, two "tweens" and a very hip five-year-old:

Big Girl - Mika

Do You Remember - Jay Sean

Down - Jay Sean

Fire Burning - Sean Kingston

Grace Kelly - Mika

I'd Do Anything - Simple Plan

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

Juliet - LMNT

Just Dance - Lady GaGa

Lollipop - Mika

Love Today - Mika

Lucky - Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

Must Be an Angel - Annie Lennox

Our Lips are Sealed - Go-Go's

Party in the U.S.A. - Miley Cyrus

Perfect Day - Hoku

Relax, Take it Easy - Mika

Sandstorm - Darude

We Close Our Eyes - Oingo Boingo

Vacation - The Go-Go's

We are Family - Sister Sledge

With You - Chris Brown

An eclectic mix, yes. This is how our summer sounded.

*1/2 dozen hand-decorated sugar cookies to the first to guess my favorite summer song of 2010.

Babies

2010-07-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

Greta Mae

Tommy, Greta, and Nathaniel

A busy Grandma

And the last to arrive... baby Carrie

Isn't she beautiful?

It's been a difficult year. To be fair, not earth-shatteringly difficult, as has been the case for others. That much is true. But although happy and blessed in many areas, there has been a thin thread of sadness stitched through the past year. Sometimes the thin thread has embroidered more elaborate designs of heavy-heartedness, even anger.

What then, besides the ever-constant love and rock-solid support of my husband and the not-so-constant affection of my own children gives me something happier upon which to focus my thoughts?

You may have guessed.

Babies.

Eight

2010-07-18T15:56:00.000-07:00

Eight things we love about Julia:

1. She makes friends with anyone and everyone.
2. She has a fantastic imagination.
3. She has the best stage presence of any girl in her dance class!
4. Her smile!
5. The way she says "yes, Mama" to me when she is feeling agreeable.
6. She has her daddy's legs. Long, tan, skinny, with knobby knees.
7. Drama, drama, drama!
8. Her life is a musical.

The dramatic fashion in which Julia burst onto the scene in our San Vicente Drive kitchen was a foreshadowing of things to come. This girl does everything with no fear and pizazz! She is a dream of a little girl, and also the fulfillment of "the mother's curse". I deserve her... every bit of her! Every bit of joy and exasperation! Happy Eighth Birthday Julia!

Seventeen

2010-07-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

"It seems funny and horrible to think of Diana's being married," sighed Anne, hugging her knees and looking through the gap in the Haunted Wood to the light that was shining in Diana's room.

"I don't see what's horrible about it, when she's doing so well," said Mrs. Lynde emphatically. "Fred Wright has a fine farm and he is a model young man."

"He certainly isn't the wild, dashing, wicked, young man Diana once wanted to marry," smiled Anne. "Fred is extremely good."

"That's just what he ought to be. Would you want Diana to marry a wicked man? Or marry one yourself?"

"Oh, no. I wouldn't want to marry anybody who was wicked, but I think I'd like it if he COULD be wicked and WOULDN'T. Now, Fred is HOPELESSLY good."

"You'll have more sense some day, I hope," said Marilla.

Seventeen years ago I married my Gilbert Blythe. He COULD be wicked, but WON'T, which is just one of the many reasons I love him. Happy Anniversary Paul.

Oven-Fried Kids

2010-07-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

My kids have been in rehab for the past week at a lovely facility otherwise known as home. Why? Too much fun, too little sleep, too many treats, and zero responsibility for two whole weeks! Mom and dad have had to intervene and retrain their little brains and bodies to accept the new normal. Chores, vegetables, and a little boredom. They're good for you! But was the two week vacation to Arizona, Nevada, and Utah worth the trouble? Let's see...

Swimming, swimming, and more swimming in the hot Arizona sun with cousins.

Alex, Daniel, and Ben... and the girls chasing bunnies in the background.

Bubbles in the park... a perfect picture. Need I say more?

Maya and Julia make a splash.

Grandma and Grandpa...

and gorgeous aunties. My kids did NOT want to leave Arizona. I think they could have been very happy at Aunt Michelle's for another week. We've already bought our kids one-way tickets for next summer, Michelle!

Then we dragged our kids to the Grand Canyon... it looks just like it does in pictures, but actually looking down over it made me dizzy. Pretty AWEsome.

More driving... this time to Vegas, baby.

Is Vegas the next best thing to Paris? I don't know about that... but we had fun seeing friends and had a great dinner at the Bellagio. I tried ostrich for the first time, and I could have eaten the desserts there all night long. Ah, creme brulee, you are the reason I wore my stretchy skirt. Seriously.

More driving got us to St. George, where we had a slip 'n' slidin' good time with 18 cousins all under the age of 13. My cousins Kristina, Karin, MaryAnn and Kelly have the cutest kids and were great hostesses. It was so fun to see them.

MORE driving... up to Highland. Aunt Narci and Uncle Phil had popsicles in their freezer, a tv downstairs, and a big backyard. What more could we want at this point in our travels?

It must be confessed. I love Utah. I love BYU. I found a love for cracked pepper fries at the BYU Creamery on this trip. Sometimes I think I could really live there. Utah, not the Creamery.

The 4th of July is the BEST in Utah. The kids loved the little parade outside Arri's house. Of course they did... it was a big candy fest!

Ben beating playing chess with cousin Artem.

I ask you, what is a backyard in Utah without a trampoline?

Fourth of July highlight for Seth and Julia... a ride on the ATV with cousin Cat.

Seth's new buddy, Sasha. Kent and Arri (Paul's cousin) adopted Sasha and Artem from Ukraine more than a year and a half ago... and we finally got to meet them. They were both so much fun with Seth... Sasha played frisbee with him forever. Thanks Sasha!

We gave the kids a choice between going to Stadium of Fire and doing fireworks in the street. Duh! Fireworks in the street mom!!

Another highlight was my birthday which I spent in Provo with Paul. We went to The Sweet Tooth Fairy for cupcakes, and then to Communal for dinner, where we sat next to someone very special at dinner.

So... was it all worth it??

Ummm..... YEAH - it was!

2010-06-17T16:00:00.000-07:00

We never get doughnuts for breakfast. But we did.

'Cause that is what the birthday boy wanted.

Happy Birthday to our ELEVEN-year-old, Daniel!

We Close Our Eyes...

2010-06-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

And the world has turned around again.

And little guy is finished with Preschool with Miss Nancy. She has taught all four kids and is so dear to my heart. A rare and wonderful quality it is indeed to be truly genuine, and Miss Nancy is just that. We lucked out in a big way to have her in our family's life.

This little class was so sweet and bright and just perfect.

I will miss it so much. There are only wonderful and tender memories there.

The world turns around again... and it is Ben's last day of 6th grade. Gold Honor Roll, President's Academic Excellence Award, and a fine little group of friends to take with him into middle school.

Daniel's last day of 5th grade, Silver Honor Roll (all A's and one B+), and he is now at the top of the elementary school heap.

Why is Seth smiling? Because he just pounded two whole pieces of chocolate cake at the President's Award Reception. I blinked and it was gone. Just like this school year.

Suddenly, oh so suddenly, it is summer in Morgan Hill. Hot, windy, dry summer.

Paul took the big boys to the A's game tonight with Grandpa. Julia, Seth and I went to the library and got books about Costa Rica, princesses, seeds, monkeys, jaguars, and rainforests. I put on my new 1930's apron (thanks Anna!) and it still didn't inspire me to clean the kitchen. When the world turns around again, perhaps I will.

*If you know the song that inspired this post, then you are a kindred spirit. Bonus points if you love that song. Extra bonus points if you really, really love that song, and you feel happy just hearing the first beats of the intro.

*Getting so hot here in MH I am fantasizing about cutting all my hair off when I see Lindsey on Monday. Ok, not really, but golly, I hate the heat. So. Stinkin'. Much.

Scout

2010-06-04T21:49:00.000-07:00

This picture is SO Daniel.

And this one. Do you see who has the happiest smile in this photo? Yes... you guessed it. The Webelos leader, who in one glorious night got to pass his whole pack of crazy boys onto another lucky guy.

There were two Indian Braves there to welcome all these boys to Scouting. And a big, loud drum too!

Congratulations on your Arrow of Light D!

Up for Air... and Playing Catch-Up

2010-06-04T21:42:00.000-07:00

Do I dare even try to catch up? End-of-the-school year parties, one last week of friend preschool, field trips (one in the pouring rain with Julia, one in the frosty mountain air with Daniel, and one in the blazing hot sun with Ben), teacher appreciation week, pack meetings, Young Women's activities, play dates, ortho appointments, family birthday parties, cupcakes to school, bake sale, school open house, awards assembly... and somewhere in there I try to keep the house clean (doesn't happen), do laundry (kinda happens), keep a family fed (no one is starving), and find personal joy, fulfillment, and balance in my life. Uh-huh.

Making lemons into lemonade

Decorating cupcakes for Seth's birthday party (ok, it was just a play date with T... I owe Seth big time!)

Helping a little girl have the cake of her dreams

Julia dreaming big with juicy, ripe red strawberries and fudge icing

What Motherhood Means to ME

2010-05-07T17:36:00.000-07:00

(Warning: long post ahead... if you read it all, you must really like me... or have some time to kill)

Motherhood means nine months of waiting. Sick and exhausted and uncomfortable, turning my aching body over and over in bed to ease the pain in my legs and back.

Motherhood means exhausted exhilaration while lying between white sheets in a hospital bed. A new little life on my chest, so peculiarly beautiful. A new feeling of love that I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined. Seeing my husband as a father and loving him for loving that baby.

Stretch marks and sore breasts. Tedious days and long nights with little sleep. Hundreds and hundreds of hours nursing, diapering, rocking. Spit up, poop, vomit, boogies, blood. And I just wash my hands and it's no big deal.

Motherhood means being part of a sisterhood that understands things that only mothers can. Finally getting it. Understanding my grandmothers and mother a little bit better. Having my eyes opened to a new level of beauty and sacredness. Discovering that my child's room is the holiest place in the home, as I sit holding him while he sleeps. That feeling that not only God, but Great Grandma is there, and that they both know my daughter better than I know her yet... because they knew each other before she came to earth.

Motherhood means milky wet lips on my neck, tiny hands to hold, little chubby, slippery bodies to bathe. Motherhood means wearing shirts that can be unbuttoned and buttoned, pulled up, washed often, and worn unironed. Motherhood means months of feeling like my body belongs to someone else, and marveling that my body is keeping another alive. Being grateful for the hungry little babes that (almost literally), suck the baby fat right off my hips... and feeling that it's only fair, since they put it there in the first place.

Motherhood means forgetting what my belly button looked like before four pregnancies, and feeling ever grateful for clothing. Clothing that covers, hides, camouflages. Learning how to pull myself together in 20 minutes. Feeling more beautiful and comfortable in my skin that I did at age 16, and wondering how on earth this is possible.

Motherhood means never making disparaging remarks about my appearance in front of my beautiful, confident daughter. The world will give her enough to worry about. Hoping for her that she will discover the real beauty of women who have lived well and loved truth and light more than trips to the mall and the salon.

Motherhood means band-aids, Costco-sized boxes of cereal, sunscreen, dirty socks, dirty laundry, dirty floors, dirty cars. Birthday parties planned to a "t", and birthday parties thrown together on the fly. Motherhood means the frustration of wanting uninterrupted time, wanting to develop other talents and pursue other interests that have nothing to do with band-aids or Costco. Feeling guilty about feeling that way, and sometimes feeling slightly rebellious.

Motherhood means learning to let go and let children learn from natural consequences. If you don't wear a coat, you will get cold... things like that. It means that Friday night, or Sunday night, or even Mother's Day (ironically) means sitting in an ER waiting room, waiting for stitches or x-rays.

Motherhood means playing board games with a five-year old and letting him win often enough to keep him happy, and letting him lose often enough to keep it real.

Motherhood means being interested in things like hockey and baseball and football and basketball and airports and volcanoes and earthquakes and chess. Because he is.

Motherhood means getting to have tea parties and dress dolls and take naps in a little girl's room painted yellow with pink curtains. And getting to buy dresses that twirl and things with glitter all over them. Motherhood means getting to be a girl again.

Motherhood means that I get hugs all day, and kisses whenever I want them. And wanting them all the time. Motherhood means being the recipient and the giver of unconditional love and forgiveness. It means being humbled by my weaknesses. Grateful that the children who are quick to forget to flush the toilet, put their clothes away, or take the trash out are also quick to forget the offenses of a mother who has simply had it up to here, can't take one more minute and snaps and yells at them.

Motherhood means saying "no" a hundred times a day. Hearing the word "mom" a thousand times a day... followed by "I'm hungry" about five hundred times a day. Saying "I love you" more times a day than I can count. And "go to bed" almost as often. It means telling my kids to wait until dinner, while I sneak chocolate chips in the pantry.

Motherhood means that the most exciting outing of the week is often a trip to Target. It means running errands quickly in order to be home by 1:50. And when 1:50 comes, motherhood means that it is SO time for a nap. And still smiling when the kids come through the door.

Motherhood means reading "Pickle Chiffon Pie" every night for two weeks. Listening with interest to play by plays of the lunchtime soccer and football games. Sitting through Pack Meeting. Filling out a forest's worth of forms and permission slips.

Motherhood means knowing what it means to have a "heart swell with pride". Because doesn't it? I mean, that is just what it feels like when my baby first smiles, takes a step, says a new word, learns to read, goes to Primary for the first time, gets baptized, learns to ride a bike, makes a new friend, scores a goal, hits a ball, shares with someone, passes the sacrament, finishes a puzzle...

Motherhood means discovering deep reserves of strength I never knew I had. Being pleasantly surprised and pleased with myself, and ever frustrated and disappointed in myself. Always wanting to be better, smarter, cleverer, cleaner, more organized, more creative, more spiritual, more fun. But never wanting to be anyone other than myself. Because, as I tell my kids every day "I'm the luckiest mommy". Motherhood means living for someone else, and feeling fortunate to have the chance.

Monkey in a Tree

2010-05-06T09:36:00.000-07:00

Do you see that monkey up in our tree? He is really, really high up there. His monkey-mama gets a little worried about him so far up there. But that is a mama's job, I guess. To worry and worry so that they don't have to. So he climbs up and sits and hides there. Every day. It must feel wonderful to be up among those shimmering birch leaves, swaying in the tree, seeing the world from up so high.



I won't grow up,
----I won't grow up
I don't want to go to school.
----I don't want to go to school
Just to learn to be a parrot,
----Just to learn to be a parrot
And recite a silly rule.
----And recite a silly rule
If growing up means
It would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree,
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
Not me!
Not I,
Not me!
Not me!

Spring Randomness

2010-04-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

Oh, little pea sprout...

frothy white cherry blossoms...

and deliciously scented lemon tree! Thank you for surrounding me with beauty.

(Daniel holding a wee baby bird today. Do you see his nest-mate behind him? Poor mama bird was all a-twitter. Her babies were just learning how to fly when we happened upon them.)

Sometimes it seems like Heavenly Father pushes us out of our fluffy, safe nests, so that we can learn how to fly. And it seems like, at least for me, once things feel really safe and comfortable, that is when I get a big shove.

Here we are in the middle of the most beautiful, greenest spring Morgan Hill has had for a long time, and everywhere there is new growth. Even though I feel like curling up in my nest and never coming out again... things just keep growing. And I guess I am being forced to grow right along with them.

So in amongst painful growth and self-discovery, there are some random thoughts flitting about in my little brain:

*So clever that we have high school reunions at the 20 year mark. Just long enough after graduation to make it interesting, and right before the real aging starts to set in. As in the ventriloquist doll smile lines that appeared, I swear, the month after my reunion (which I didn't attend). Brilliant.

*Jamie Oliver is my new food hero.

*I love my kids so much it hurts.

*Sometimes I think I am a pretty awesome mom. Sometimes I am quite sure I am a pretty terrible mom.

*Does Carrie Underwood have an eating disorder? Man, she's skinny. And gorgeous.

*I think there is no possible way I can let Seth go to Kindergarten next year. What on earth will I do without him?

*Ben is going to Middle School (argh) next year. I suspect that the girls in 6th grade think he's cute. I would, if I was a 6th grade girl!

*Daniel is currently obsessed with airports. He has drawn plans for the new Napa Valley airport. Watch for it.

*I am currently obsessed with the idea of moving to Boise, Idaho. Not quite sure where that came from, because I've never been to Idaho.

*I am going to grow my own organic strawberries, gosh darn it. Variety: "Quinault"

*Someday I will be married to a gentleman farmer. Because Paul will wake up someday and say to me, "let's move to a small farm in Boise, Idaho, and raise chickens".

*Julia is getting a haircut today. She looks smashing with a little bob.

Une Nuit en Paris

2010-04-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

Les gateaux et des patisseries sur la table.

Oooh

La!

For more pics of the cakes from LDS Prom - A Night in Paris, click HERE.

FIVE

2010-04-12T19:43:00.000-07:00

Seth

FIVE!!!

Some things I love about my baby Seth - He is still small enough to carry on my hip, he is big enough to water the garden for me, he gives the BEST kisses, he can read like crazy, he can count to 200, he has dark brown eyes and curly hair, he always goes straight to bed, he is a good little buddy for mom while the other kids are at school, he likes to do puzzles, play Monopoly Jr., Go Fish, and Battleship, he has finally started to eat his cereal with milk, finally started to eat lettuce, and he loves sushi, he plays a mean game of Wii Resort 100-pin bowling.

I love this little guy. Happy Birthday Seth!

Happy April

2010-04-07T19:53:00.000-07:00

Animal: April 1st... Nathaniel Lee Green

Vegetable: Our newly planted garden

Miracle: The life and resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ

Another miracle... I feel like blogging again :)

Open Heart

2010-03-14T11:45:00.000-07:00

Grandma M recently had open heart surgery.

This is a picture of her heart.

Funny... I thought she had a heart of gold.

Hope you are feeling all the way better soon Grandma.

Fat-Free Hobby

2010-03-09T10:12:00.000-08:00

Does anyone remember that I promised my blog a weekly update of creative ventures? Yeah, I forgot too. Well, not forgot so much as just didn't. I didn't realize how private I would feel about my vulnerabilities when it comes to creativity. I am always working on things, but there is a part of me that just doesn't want to share. Yet.

But here is something that I've been soooooo enjoying lately. Relaxing, no pressure, just-for-fun embroidery. Love it. I'm such a granny, huh?

This one is an experiment with watercolors and thread. I will show it to you when I'm done. Promise. It's going to have flowers and mushrooms and be oh so pretty.

Birthday Wish

2010-03-05T22:19:00.000-08:00

I want a camera for my birthday. Not just any old camera. A good one. A Canon? If I had a decent camera I could put a photo

HERE

and it could be an awesome photo of my family eating popcorn tonight while we watched The Apple Dumplin' Gang, or a beautiful photo of the verde pork butter lettuce wraps we had for dinner. I'm sure that a good camera could make popcorn and pork look so very exciting.

p.s. My birthday is July 1. Still time to save your pennies.

Spring Showers

2010-03-04T13:02:00.000-08:00

'Tis the season for baby showers. Kathryn's was given by a dear family friend, Karen, who hosted a lovely vintage-themed evening. She has the loveliest home, more fun to visit than a museum. If you want to see her lovely gardens, see her blog. All around her home were cute little vignettes of vintage baby items.

She made a banner of vintage storybook pages transferred to fabric.

Lovely sparkly vintage baby sign.

And what a darling table. The ice cubes had little naked plastic babies inside them. The one I got was completely encased in ice, except for his little bum sticking out. I felt bad for him. But then, I am the kind of mom that can't leave a doll face down on the floor (what if she suffocates?!), or in an uncomfortable position. I know, I know...

Isn't this the cutest BELLY!??

And the Saturday was Annie's shower, given by her cute college friends, Kim and KC. Theme: Green.

'Cause that is Annie and Scott's last name.

And would you just look at that adorable belly? She is teensy, huh?

We can't wait to meet these two baby boys. Hurry up!

CSA

2010-03-04T12:53:00.000-08:00

March is here, and the hills around my home are bursting with green grass, the rain has been plentiful, and the tulips and hibiscus in my yard are up. I am impatient to get the garden finished and planted, but with all the rain it hasn't happened yet. While waiting for my own produce, I decided to sign up for our local CSA. If you haven't looked into participating in a CSA, do it today!

Here is my first week's order:
red potatoes
navel oranges
kiwi
butter lettuce
royal mandarin tangerines
kale
red leaf lettuce
cilantro
parsley
baby broccoli
leeks

I also got two pounds of grass-fed ground beef from a local ranch and a dozen organic free range eggs. I may cancel the eggs in my order, because a very industrious young man in our ward brought me 18 eggs from his own free-range chickens on Sunday. I had suggested that he start selling his eggs, and he could pay for his mission. So I like to think that I jump-started his industry.

And here is my first week's menu:

Potato Leek soup

Beef and Broccoli Pie

Breakfast for dinner, with scrambled eggs (who knew fresh eggs were so much more delicious?), freshly made whole wheat bread, and roasted potatoes with lemon kale pesto with nutmeg (a pesto so delicious, I could eat it by the spoonful. And I did.)

Hamburgers (I promised the kids)

Homemade pizza w/ broccoli

And something with cilantro cream sauce. Black bean soup, maybe?

I need to use a lot of lettuce before is goes bad. Salad, salad, salad for me every day.

I just placed my order for next week. I ordered a bulb of fennel. Perhaps I can find something lovely to do with that. I think perhaps another pizza with caramelized fennel and onions sounds good. Any suggestions?

Friend Preschool

2010-03-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

February was my month to play teacher for our little "Friend Preschool". We have a cute little group of four boys and they (mostly) play well together. We ground wheat and made bread...

Read books and made messes...

Ate popcorn and peanuts...

And covered the table (and shirts) with shaving cream clouds...

Now it is some other mom's turn. Phew.

Let's Grow A Garden

2010-02-22T09:33:00.000-08:00

There are certain special books that have become a part of me. "Let's Grow a Garden" is one of them. Gyo Fujikawa paints the pictures of the dreamiest childhood. All her books are dear to my heart, but this one is my favorite. My parents had a most magnificent garden in the side yard of their home. I remember my dad building the boxes, watering, digging potatoes, and picking blackberries and raspberries in the summer.

I miss having a garden. Our little box garden in our old home was so splendid in the winter. Fresh lettuce and home grown broccoli can't touch the sorry produce found in a grocery store. So on a sunny Saturday, I put the menfolk to work in the yard. The front of our yard where there is a huge patch of wooly thyme will be the garden's home.

I've purchased a lovely little collection of heirloom seeds. Tomorrow I go to find trays to start sprouting seeds indoors.

The menfolk got right to work. It was very manly of them.

I have sadly never had much success with a summer garden. My winter vegetables have always done better. I suspect it had something to do with pregnancy, sickness, and babies. To grow a garden, one must not forget to water, and sick, pregnant me didn't much like to go outside in the heat to water our old summer garden. But this summer, I have hope...

that the storybook garden of my childhood will grow!

(images of Let's Grow a Garden from vintagechildrensbooksmykidloves.com)

Snow Day... Check!

2010-02-21T20:47:00.000-08:00

While much of the United States is buried under mounds of snow and dreaming of a sunny beach vacation, our kids have been dreaming of a snow-filled day. Our poor, deprived children, who until last Friday had never been sledding, or tubing...

or made a snow angel,

or had a snowball fight,

or made a snowman,

finally, finally had their day in the snow. We had SO MUCH FUN that we are ready to move to Whistler right now!!

Rock Rock

2010-02-14T18:45:00.000-08:00

Soon, I will be saying goodbye to this rocking chair for a season. It is going to a home that needs it more than ours does. It seems like it would be easy to see it go, but it's not. It would be impossible to calculate the hundreds of hours I've spent in this chair. Nursing, rocking, and reading. My soon-to-be-five-year-old, bless his little baby heart, still wants to "rock rock" before getting into his big boy bed. And I am only too happy to oblige.

While I don't miss night after night of interrupted sleep, diapers, and spit-up dribbling down my shirt, it is hard to say goodbye to the baby years. Because I do miss so much about them. The sweetness of a soft head under my chin and little milk-wet lips on my neck. And the sitting and rocking...

When I am asked (as I am so often asked!) "are you done?", "will you be having any more?", I politely say "no" (like it's anybody's business anyway!). But I'm not used to hearing myself say it no matter how often I do. I still am hit with disbelief. A little like when I tell someone my age. Thirty-eight? Really? It feels like I am lying, because I don't really believe it myself.

So three of my sisters plus a sister-in-law kindly plotted to provide a baby a month until July, so that my baby yearning would be satisfied. Thoughtful, yes?

Precious Greta was the first to arrive, and she is dreamy. Rock on.

Flowering Quince

2010-02-10T09:21:00.000-08:00

So busy...

and yet I had to show you

SPRING

in my yard!

Baking Inspiration

2010-01-26T15:30:00.000-08:00

Today is a rainy, stay-at-home-and-bake-lots-of-bread day. I have made banana bread and cranberry orange chocolate chip bread. I had nothing to pack in my kids' lunches this morning, so I had to remedy that. The seven loaves should last at least a few days, right? It is so hard to keep food in this house!

I have not made a cake for awhile. But sometimes it's so fun to look around for inspiration. The cake above is just pure sweetness. I would love, and I do mean love, to do hand painted cakes all the time.

The cake below just made me laugh out loud. Where do people come up with these ideas? Poor little icing bride! Pull her out... quick!

Have a sweet day!

Funky Town

2010-01-21T12:52:00.000-08:00

What gets you out of a funk?

Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. A funk. Days, weeks, where your head is full of cobwebs and clouds and you just can't see the sun. Days when you sit stewing about your mental "to do" list, but can't seem to inch that foot forward to take the first step.

You know those funky days... when the laundry is piled high, the cupboards are empty, and all is an organizational fiasco.

Oh, I've been in one, for sure. I've been able to put on the happy face when it matters, but inside I've been worried, anxious, depressed. And my house... oh, mama, my poor house. Physical and emotional inertia is hard to overcome. And the toilets don't clean themselves.

So...

What do you do?

Yesterday, two women (unknowingly) came to my rescue. As women (unknowingly) will. At two different times during the day, I got to be a friend. And I very happily and willingly turned my thoughts to someone else. To these two beautiful, strong, capable, amazing women that call me a friend. What an honor.

There can be such strength in the conversation between women. Why is it so hard to get us started sometimes? I think because women feel that no one really wants to hear about our day, our real day. Oh, but we do! Our conversations are empowering and enlightening, and so importantly, validating.

I don't live in the Pottery Barn. And my guess is, neither do you. It's ok. We can both admit it.

"The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served."
— Gordon B. Hinckley (Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes)

Hot Date

2010-01-16T22:00:00.000-08:00

I had a hot date this weekend. Dropped kids off at Grandma and Grandpa's for a sleepover with their cousins. Then Paul and I went here:

And Paul walked behind me with a basket which we loaded up with art supplies. It was familiar and foreign, intimidating and inspiring. Paul is a good person to go shopping with if you are reluctant to spend your Christmas money on yourself. He'll make you do it. He won't let you buy groceries.

Then we took our hot-date selves to a BBQ to eat massive amounts of smoked meat and coleslaw, and Paul made me spend more money on red shoes. I am currently lovin' me some red. Happy, strong, cheery red. Could it be the weather? Could it be a need for more boldness and life in my (lately) gray days?

This morning we accompanied 50 Priests and Laurels from our stake here. Here, where we draw our strength not from the color of our shoes, but from the spirit of love and service and family and Christ that surrounds this holy place.

Perhaps I just need more dates at the Temple.

But I think I'll keep the shoes anyway...

WARNING:

2010-01-07T11:59:00.000-08:00

The following photo may be too graphic for some viewers

I moved my couch back to vacuum, and was tempted to just push it back. If you could only see the vast amounts of dust clinging to every item. An honest update... this is what mommy has been up to. Cleaning up the mess. Isn't that what we are all doing right now? Really?

Merry Christmas

2010-01-01T22:53:00.000-08:00

Oh, it was a MERRY Christmas! I hope yours was too!

If you want to see it all, here's the link.

Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy-Mommy

2009-12-23T10:01:00.000-08:00

Welcome to a whirlwind of sugar and spice.

Gingerbread houses...

New gingerbread friends for our tree...

School parties...

And treats for friends and neighbors.

My house smells wonderful, and my kids are bouncing off the walls. Ah, Christmas.

Out of the Oven

2009-12-18T16:25:00.000-08:00

The kiln at the ceramics studio was unloaded today! I couldn't wait to get down there and see what came out...

It's always a bit of a surprise. What will those glazes do in the heat? I love the way that this little hand formed bowl turned out. The colors are so gorgeous.

And this sweet little cupcake stand. I need to bake some cupcakes just to put one on it!

Remember these? These are my favorites. Just so simple.

I would love to make more of these.

Strawberries and dots. Nice, but not my favorite. It's always good to experiment though.

This was the piece that I was really dying to see. I am so pleased that it turned out well. When I told my teacher, Jane, that I really wanted to make a cake plate some day she taught me how to do it

that very night!

You can make some good comparisons between the process of pottery and the process of life. The heat of the kiln hardens and produces something wonderful (if the clay behaves). Think about that deep thought for awhile.

We Believe

2009-12-18T08:13:00.000-08:00

Julia: I want another kitty.

Santa: I can't carry live animals in my pack. One year I was carrying some hamsters and some snakes. And the snakes got loose and they ate the hamsters. So no more live animals.

Seth: I want some Thomas trains and Hot Wheels.

I'm feeling the magic...

One more week...

Monthly Evaluation

2009-12-16T12:01:00.000-08:00

They don't put their socks in the laundry. They fight with and tease each other. Three of them pee on the back of the toilet. One of them falls to pieces on the floor if you ask her to clean her room. They complain about dinner. There are certain days when I wonder what on earth I'm doing wrong. The feelings of responsibility are overwhelming and discouraging at times.

But then...

there are moments. Moments when my heart feels so happy and proud. Moments when I am amazed at what wonderful kids I have. Moments when I think (know?) that my kids are the best kids in the world. Moments when I think maybe, just maybe, we're doing ok after all.

Ben getting Gold Honor Roll... again.
Julia getting the Responsibility award at school (perhaps I have taught her a thing or two).
Daniel conquering a major case of nerves and nailing his pieces at his recital... on a Steinway Concert Grand, which is pretty cool.

Santa Baby...

2009-12-12T16:52:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I spotted this on an outing with Talented Sister Lindsay. I wanted it. Wanted it bad. And now it is (way) on sale. (According to my boys, price is no object for you, Santa. But I'm just sayin'.)

I've been very, very good this year. A shimmering, glowing star in the homemaking firmament! And what better reward for my good behavior than a completely unnecessary, albeit quite functional and darling, teapot.

Love ya Santa!

*********************************************

Dear friends,

What is on your list this year? I have all I really need, but that teapot is so darn irresistible, right? If I know Santa like I do, he'll come through for me.

Glædelig Jul!

2009-12-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

Meet Annalisa. A charming little Danish clothespin doll. Julia and I made her for a class project.

Julia's great-great-great grandfather, Lars Peter Christiansen, emigrated to America from Copenhagen when he was just six, and then walked to the Salt Lake Valley.

Later, when he was walking in the canyon on a fishing trip, he met a big brown bear. They stared each other down awhile, then Lars told the bear "you'd better go on home, old fellow". The bear went home, and thankfully, Lars went home that day too.

I'm glad to have Danish ancestry, the traditional dress is so lovely, don't you think? Perhaps it also explains my love for rice pudding. I plan to make this recipe for our Christmas festivities.

Christmas at the Trail House

2009-12-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Welcome to the Trail House. It's so cold outside. Please come in.

It's warmer in here.

And it smells nice too.

A flurry of coffee-filter snowflakes at the window...

homemade gingerbread friends, a vintage ornament, Santa from the Hong Kong Mission, and 48 candy canes... oops, make that 43, no, 42...41...40...

It is MERRY and BRIGHT in our little house. Thanks for stopping by.

On Being Wrong

2009-12-05T14:33:00.000-08:00

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong."

-Joseph Chilton Pearce

A hard lesson for me to learn, indeed! This is the quote I have on a mirror in my bedroom, and I love it. A perfectionist at heart, I am learning to let go little by little. The fear of being wrong, of making mistakes, of not being good enough, of not being the best, is a great stumbling block to creativity. I find that if I wait until I can do something perfectly, I won't do it at all! Better to just jump in and see the blessings and satisfaction in the process. It is still hard for me.

A good therapy for the perfectionist... ceramics. Working my hands in the mud, seeing a bowl take shape on the wheel is fun. Deeply, primitively creative, earthy, bohemian. It is so energizing to try a new medium. And there is no hope of perfect for me. And this is good.

I have made a few lopsided pieces on the wheel, accepting the imperfections. Still more satisfying was the day I made pieces like the bowl above. All alone in a quiet studio, I rolled out slabs of clay, tore off the edges, and just molded them over bowls and trays, adding a few simple flowers. I didn't have to worry about being judged by anyone else. I just played with the mud. I love the raw look of the edges, and the organic shapes. I can't wait to glaze these and see the finished product. I have ideas for more like these, and can't wait to get back into the studio.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2009-12-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

Last week, each of us made a handprint turkey. Classic. On the back, we each wrote what we are thankful for. Family, friends, food, home, the gospel, a warm bed. Seth, eager to write his all by himself, made his list. In his own writing:

Seth's LiST

TURKey

shoes

KLOS

TOOS (toys)

BOOS (books)

and...

KRESMS

We are all excited for Christmastime to be here. Our shopping is almost done, the decorations are almost all up, and we are all looking forward to a cozy December together, celebrating what is most important to us... the life of our Savior, which makes each day worth living.

Thanks

2009-11-26T21:21:00.000-08:00

I am thankful today.
Thankful for a family that still loves me even though I waaaay over-baked four lovely pumpkin pies.
Thankful that those pies were delicious anyway.
Thankful for all the other pies:
Apple Crumble
Apple
Berry
Berry/Cherry
Sour Cherry
Bing Cherry
Pecan
Banana Cream
Key Lime
Chocolate
and desserts:
Flan
Pumpkin Roll

(The turkey dinner was delicious too.)

So many things to be thankful for. What a blessed life I've had so far.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Home Improvement

2009-11-18T09:43:00.000-08:00

Ugly, ten-year-old old dresser.

Cute, four-year-old boy. Red paint. New knobs.

Ahhh... much better.

If only all my home improvement ideas and projects would go as swiftly and smoothly. My poor little brain is positively bursting with "want to's" and "have to's", but there is only so much I can do. I have to constantly remind myself that real home improvement is more about the spiritual, emotional, physical, and intellectual development of the four little spirits that live here.

But I suppose that a freshly-painted red dresser can lift spirits. It lifted mine.

Christmas Doodles

2009-11-12T14:58:00.000-08:00

With Ben home sick today, we just puttered around in our p.j.s, and pulled out the paints, er, food colors.

Not crazy about any of these, but I think I like the stocking best. But since these are just for practice, anything goes. I think I'll try a simple evergreen sprig with a pinecone next.

I'd like to get a few designs I really like ready for Christmas.

Also, I'm thinking of making these into sandwich cookies, or dipping the bottoms in chocolate, and perhaps some nuts. Yum?? What do you think?

It's the Little Things

2009-11-10T08:32:00.000-08:00

Yes... the little things. Like waking up and finding that this dream of an apron went on sale overnight!

At Anthropologie, of course.

This gave me such a spark of happiness this morning. Materialistic? Perhaps.

But pretty things make me happy! Aprons make me happy. Pretty aprons? Yes please!

Twelve

2009-11-04T20:56:00.000-08:00

Ben is twelve. Which is kind of weird, since I just sent him to kindergarten last year. Weird.

Ben, just follow in your dad's footsteps and you'll be just fine.
I love you guys.

Letting Go

2009-11-03T19:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, it is just necessary to let go. And sometimes, it kind of feels good.

So perhaps next week I'll get these dark roots touched up, put on a different pair of (not so baggy) jeans, cook more vegetables for dinner, stop eating candy with abandon, get more serious about my workouts, insist on better piano practicing, chore completion, etc., etc....

But sometimes, I just get rebellious about life's high-maintenance whining.

And I have not forgotten my creativity pledge. I promise I went to ceramics class last week and got nice and dirty.

Happy Candy Bonanza!

2009-11-01T06:31:00.000-08:00

Hermione Granger and Superman wish you the Happiest of Halloweens...
coupled with a warning.

WARNING: Ridiculous doses of Halloween candy

may be detrimental to your mother's mental health.

Pumpkin King

2009-10-30T06:24:00.000-07:00

There are two kinds of people in the world...
Those who love pumpkin treats and those who are crazy.
So in honor of this year's Pumpkin King and Queen, please go make your family some pumpkin bars. If you don't like pumpkin bars, you know just what I think of you.

Pumpkin Bars

Mix:

4 eggs

1 2/3 c sugar

1 16 oz can pumpkin

1 c oil

Add:

2 c flour

2 t baking powder

2 t cinnamon

1 t salt

1 t baking soda

Bake in jelly roll pan at 350 for 25-30 minutes.

Icing:

3 oz cream cheese

1 t vanilla

1/2 c butter

1 c powdered sugar

Superman

2009-10-26T06:36:00.000-07:00

What kinds of things make you cry yourself to sleep at night?

I will tell you what made me do just that last night.

This guy. And some other stuff.

Now, I am not the type to cry easily. I just don't. I probably have a good cry every six months or so. I don't cry at movies.* I don't cry over books. I don't cry over good byes. But last night, boy howdy, I bawled like a baby. My eyes are so swollen this morning that I can barely see through the slits.

Last night, I was mourning the passing of time. And some other stuff.

*Ok... I must confess that although I do not typically cry at movies, I did have a good cry recently after watching Becoming Jane. That James McAvoy is a heartbreaker.

Something About Sugar

2009-10-22T16:17:00.000-07:00

Artistic endeavor of the week. Hand painted sugar cookies.

What is it about the medium of sugar (and flour and butter and eggs) that appeals to me? Endless creative options, to be sure. And there is something about sugar art that just makes people smile, and I love that. When something beautiful can also be tasty... what's not to love? The senses of sight, smell, touch, and taste are all equally delighted.

A beautiful cake or cookie brings out the child in us. I love the nostalgia of an old family recipe. And of course, when there are treats involved, there is usually a celebration going on. A wedding, a birthday, a baby shower, a special holiday. Food does not always mean a party, but what's a party without beautiful food?

Also, sugar sparkles. The little girl in me still loves that.

Boys in the Kitchen

2009-10-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

Letting your boys loose in the kitchen on a Sunday afternoon. Good idea or bad idea?

A bad idea, because the kitchen gets really, really messy. A bad idea because as much as you would like to take a nap, you know that you must hover nearby, ready to dash in and rescue all that butter and all those eggs you've let them use. A bad idea, because you know that you will end up doing extra cleaning before you start to make your own mess making dinner.

A good idea, because your boys learn that they must read a recipe all the way through before starting. They practice math skills (adding fractions), cooperation, and patience. They are learning self-reliance. And who doesn't love an Orange Drop Cookie, I ask you?

And who doesn't love a man who really knows his way around a kitchen?

Right?

When I Grow Up

2009-10-16T08:12:00.000-07:00

When I was a child, if anyone ever asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always the same.
An Artist.
It was so clear to me. I was so sure of myself. So much of my identity was tied to my love of art, of drawing, painting, creating. I was "the artist" in the class, in the family.
When I got to college I lost my bearings. I was a straight A student in Humanities, but I began to doubt myself as an artist. So I took the chicken's way out. I studied the masters, and shied away from anything hands on. I loved my major, but have regretted my decision to abandon art as a future career.
Then came motherhood. A journey in creating and becoming. How I have enjoyed being immersed in beautiful children's books, play dough, finger painting, and artistic endeavors of all kinds... the beautiful, exuberant, confident masterpieces of child-artists.
I too, have been able to create... a home. Homemaking is an artistic endeavor of sorts. I am becoming more and more comfortable with my own esthetic, my own vibe, my own idea of what home and comfort and beauty mean to me. More on homemaking later.
I have made a commitment to myself to dig the artist out again. It has been happening, little by little. My commitment to this little blog is to post at least one creative venture a week. To keep me accountable.

So the medium may vary, but the goal will be the same... to be an Artist.

Peace

2009-10-06T16:07:00.000-07:00

Fall is a magical time of year. Beautiful light, vibrant color, warm blankets, cinnamon-spicy smells in the kitchen. I feel more at peace in the fall than at any other time of the year. I think this is because fall turns me inward, brings me closer to hearth and home. And isn't that the perfect recipe for peace? If we want peace in the world, it has to start at home. Maybe we all just need more family nights around the fire.